Why I Quit Motherhood

What is motherhood really? After close inspection I’ve come to the realization that it’s a social construct, a box that now, I don’t too much care for. In every box there are guidelines and regulations. Levels of expertise and false symbols of status. In a box I find myself constantly comparing myself to other box dwellers. How do I stack up against them? Where am I in ranking? Am I a sucky mom? If I am a sucky mom, how can I get to the top? How can I be the best mom? Or at least in the running? I know! I’ll read every parenting book & watch every parenting video I can get my hands on! Wait, I’ve done that. I’ve spent hundreds of hours researching, reading, listening, viewing and applying it the best I could. Unfortunately the best I could do only left me at the average mark  in the mommy box (and I’m really reaching here). What I did realize was that there were only a few must haves or rather must dos that every piece of literature had as its back bone.

1.keep your child fed

2.keep your child relatively clean

3.teach your child how to take care of themselves

4.tell them that you love them


These 4 parenting staples only made up 5% of all the information I’ve gathered over the years. The rest was 95% perspective. That’s why I could never get past average! Honestly some days I was so consumed with the facts that I would never teach the top of the box that I would forget to execute the fundamentals, how pathetic was that? I let the box and all its perversions of love eclipse the love I had for my kids. The yelling, screaming, crying, praying, ignoring, eye rolling, and utter frustration I would feel was nothing short of soul crushing. And that was all before noon.Not because my kids were spawns of Satan sent to destroy my life, but because I lived and breathed the box.

Today while watching yet another parenting video, I realized I hate the box and every horrible limitation it represents on my parenting journey. I don’t know how far my love will go or what it will look like, but I know I am more than the sea of perspectives. I am a spirit using a human body to usher in a generation of cosmic love. My children are tools for my self mastery, and vessels of infinite possibility.I am the divine feminine balancing the divine masculine. I don’t need any man made construct standing in the way of my authentic self. And you don’t either.


So that being said, what boxes are you in? Do you even want to be there? As always I encourage you to seek your authentic self. 

To my future I say “Hello Freedom”

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27 Nov 2015

By Fay Decopain-Rogers